To b Lost again~

I seriously think that it's true, when u r down on your luck, everything in ya life can go down along with it, i used to think that it was rubbish, but i was wrong... N when your luv starts to fade, everything else turns mouldy too... it just happens... 1stly, my leather bag fr him started to grow mouldy, my fossil watch (fr him again) the stupid LCD screen simply disappeared... I have gotten so used to the blinking numbers n now, haiz.... den... the taps in my hse broke down, my hse lights start to flicker blah blah blah... so much for breaking down... mayb the next 1 is gotta b me... May this is my form of punishment for all the hurt I'e caused him... he doesnt blame me a single bit and I cant forgive myself for all these disappointment, sadness that i have created. Nv sould i be able to undo all these mistakes. Time dont wait for any1 much less for me.. He had tried v hard to relive this relationship and I was so cruel to let it b... I think its natural that when u r in a relationship with this significant other, u tend to expect alot fr him/her, I m one of the extremies, I demand alot... I pity my significant other for he has to live with all my bad meany temper, all the ridiculous demands, unreasonable actions etc... I detest myself for being so selfish not able to change for the better, i didnt give him the mutual respect that he deserved n i always believe that one day it would get back to me.. mayb eventually i would b doomed to b by myself forever.... but b4 that happens, let me b lost in this world.........