about 'him'

o1.have u even been in lovee..
:: yah

o2.ever been kissed by anyone..
:: yah

o3.hows ur feelingg todaee
:: alright, juz a little tired

o4.have u ever been hurt in love
:: yah

o5.like anyone now
:: yah, I like every1 who’s nice to me, gfs n bfs alike

o6.hw long hv u like a person b4
:: dun remember, there’s too many

o7.wad will u do if the person u once like come back to u
:: it depends if I still feel for this guy n if things r still possible or otherwise blah(x3) its complicated, nothing is straight-forward anymoreo

8.hw u going to express ur feelings to da one u like?

:: no ideao9.wadd will u do if u can turn back the time
:: luv more whole-heartedly n try not to b a heart-breaker

1o.do u ever believe in love
:: yah

11.hav anyone u love celebrate ur bday with u
:: yah

12.u going to celebrate ur coming bdae
:: wanted to go away, but shld b postponing it

13.wad will u do if u r out of love
:: cry n hate myself

14. who will u tell abt ur love prob
:: my lovely pink book

15.hav u ever cried bitterly abt ur prob when toking on fone
:: ya when I was younger

16.wadd will u do if the person u lke chose sumone else?
:: juz thk that luv grew in my own heart

17.do u believe in fate
:: kinda

18. do u believe dat da 2 of u wud b together in future?
: dun wanna think about this for the moment

19.any crush now
:: crush aren’t worth remembering

20.will u timer your love one?
:: give that person a time limit?? Nv… coz that wun b luv anymore

21.will u forgive the love 1 who timer u before?
:: what can I do if I luv him?!

22.when will u cry?
:: everytime when I feel like a heart-breaker

23.think of marrying to the one u love?
:: of coz2

4.do u love him alot?
:: yah

25.what u going to do after this?
:: think of how to stop losing myself

It arent that ugly

juz stepped home not long ago... had a pretty tired day at work somehow... tink i didnt sleep well last night... was putting up at fren's place... let me recollect...

wento to work to yesterday.. always at work nowadays, nuthing much to do except for some irrtating ppt n reports to summit, but anyway... let's leave them for now... oh yah, its supposed to b cls annual d&d last night, didnt go due to the lack of funds... :( but anyway $$ probably more useful now... still remember jac keep asking if i was going but anyway... they noe the reason.. that's not impt anymore... yah yesterday stationed at centrepoint -- the boring-n-yet-not-boring location... ppl there r kinda wealthy... miss lala came to buy contact lenses, told her about the promo n she juz took 4 boxes... i think i m starting to get presbyope, coz i opened the drawer n juz took 2 boxes out, didnt see that there was actually 4 boxes... n i actually told her i could pass her the 2 other boxes on another occassion... omg i think i m getting some prob either with my eyes or its juz my head... well, i think i gotta make her do the pair of plastic levi's frame.. think it looks good on her... she left n few hours later, my long-time nv see sec sch fren, zhi zhou came into my shop n look at oakley frames.... at 1st tot they see see only, nv expect his fren to buy... but anyway did a quick refraction for him n settle everything... end up he used $200 CP voucher but anyway it dosent matter... coz its still sales!! yea! somehow feel that i m under scrutiny in PM nowadays... feels as if there's plenty of eyes staring at me... weird feeling.... den... time drags for hours n finally time to knock off!! so happy... since i wasnt going for the a d&d met frenz to catch up a little n settle my growling tummy... couldnt decide where to eat so we ended up at some thai restuarant besides embargo... not bad a place by the 'river-side'... such a beautiful place... so relaxing to b sitting there sipping your fav drink n chill... i would think that's its better den going to some super-packed club n squeeze your butt with plenty others on the dance floor... nah.... singapore arent that 'ugly' afterall...

den once again, went to work today... so idiotic stationed at funan dun like it there at all... n to add on my hp super low-batt... had it switched off since last night... sometimes 'suai' things happen all at once... but luckily managed to clinched a deal for the day... phew... saved my head...

Another Day at Clinic~~

life seems to get sooooo boring... did the test the other day... haha got some 85 marks for that... so fortunate... but i did try to study for 2 whole day....

went to clinic today.. again... yess... its kinda bo liaoz.... nothing much to do as today suppose to b on dispensing duty... its seems that everytime its my dispensing duty, there's no one interested in making glasses... somehow managed to have 2 'customers' willing to do glasses at SPOC... to add on more about the bad luck i get i had to get ng qw as my clinician... somehow with him i nv manage to get good grades as he's always got something to say about my performance... its either my trial lens are all over the table, i missed out taking the px's PD or it will be that my sales talk arent that great... but to b fair, i m juz a student there... students are there to gain learning experience right?! but anyway, managed to scrap thru another day in sch!!

counting down to the last day of sch --- 64 days

gotta catch up with my silly biz project meanwhile... pray that i can finish it right b4 the new yr week, so i can totally enjoy the holiday week!! yea

another countdown
12 days to collecting ang baos :)

SiCkeNinG LifE~~

its sucks... esp when u have a test tml n u have no idea what the heck have been going on in class since week 1?! omg, i m taking the test tml i , totally lost!! what deep shit m i in now? kill me... kill me... i hate classes, n i hate attenting irrelevant classes... get me out of this.....

yesterday...

so frustrating... last minute i was supposed to attend a 'cruise' dinner @ harbourfront yesterday... but also last minute i had a stupid px which i could only start @ 4.15 and how the hell could it b finished in 3/4 of an hr?! WTH!! n he wasnt the easiest px, he has got stupid sx and he keeps asking if eyedrops could help to relieve his OILY eyelids!! omg~ took exactly 75 mins to wrap up n luckily, i didnt have to do confrontation, motility etc... yea~ but anyway, rushed home n did the quickest change of clothes in my life.. imagine having to change from office wear to some evening wear in less than 5 min? n i was supposed to do my make-up... juz as i was about to throw my make-up stuff into my tote bag, i received a call! if i couldnt reach there in 5 mins, i would miss the ferry... omg! there goes the dinner.. what a pity, coz fr what i heard, it was so relaxing to b drinking red wine and admiring the sunset... sob.........

well, whatever, what's gone will b gone... so stayed at home for the rest of the night trying to imagine how wondeful it will b if i was there... went online to do my sch stuff and out of a sudden drifted away to talk to some of my classmates... i realli cant imagine how gossipy ppl can b when they can together! omg~ its like 5 ppl trying to catch attention, n every1 trying to voice out something... i was trying so hard to fend for myself, wf was trying so hard to make her point, pl was attempting to b impartial, ryan was trying to make his presence known, n hx was trying to catch what was going on... omg~ the screen moved so fast that my head spinned.. 2 of the loudest 10 in the conversation for goodness sake, that's enough to give u a huge h/a.. the conversation dragged on n only the 2 from loudest ten survived, leaving the 3 of us around.. its like sometimes u can talk nonsensically for a while to feel better... juz about 12 every1 was so tired n left 1 after another, leaving me to go back to my online quizzes..

anyway, fen if u r reading... let me assure u again, there's no verdict... coz it will nv happen.. for goodness sake

ReVeAlIng MoRe~

1. what are you doing?
* dreaming~

2. what were you doing before?
* in sch rushing thru my last px

3. who are you thinking of now?
* some1 nice?

4.what are you thinking now?
* how to lose myself

5. what time did you sleep last night?
* 2am?

6. what did you do last night?
* meet frenz to catch-up

7. what did you last say to a friend?
* buai buai

8. what attracts you to the opposite sex?
* being really funnie, n humours me plenty

9. what makes you happy?
* to b able to sort out my prob now

10.what are you wearing right now?
* some lousy bintan t-shirt which I got for volunteering

11. what will you do after answering this?
* to continue getting lost in my world

12. who was the last person you talked to?
* me bro

13. what do you want to tell ur crush but you haven't?
* crush aren’t worth remembering

14.when is your birthday?
* 4th apr… yeah, coming right after the last day of poly life!!

15.what you wana get 4 ur birthday?
* my own space

16. when did you last cry?
* not that long ago, DUN ask me y

17. when did you last smile?
* I try to luff at everything now

18. why are u answering these questions?
* coz I wanna express myself

19. when will you marry?
* hopefully w/i 5 yrs

20.When did u last receive a gift?
* dun really remember

21. when did you last drink alcoholic beverages?
* 2 days ago, n the day b4 if u consider those in tiramisu

22. who will you vote for president?
* I dun really care

23. who was the last person you talked about forgot..
* forgot what? Forget about my feelings??

24. who makes you happy?
* any1 who tries hard to make me luff, its getting harder to luff naturally nowadays

25.how u make him/her happy?
* make something nice to settle his stomach

26. who do u love?
* I dunno

27. who do you hate most among your friend?
* is this necessary?

29. who has the cutest smile you've ever seen?
* my own?bhb

30. who do you talk on d phone with often?
* I no longer chat on the phone

31. do you belong to a club in your school?
* no way, unless its break-ya-bf-hearts club

32. how's school?
* alright, juz wanna graduate asap!!

33. any regrets?
* regret what? Regret being a heart-breaker??

34. do you tk drugs?
* panadol? Does that count?

35. are you a shopaholic?
* I feel like 1

36. do you have someone in mind that you want to marry?
* let me wait forever…

37. do you like swimming?
* YES!

38. do you wear eye contacts?* all the time~ n i need to sell them soon...

39. do you kiss your parents good night?
* nah…

41. does your bf/gf often send you messages in friendster?
* I m v much single n available! lolx

42. how about in e-mail?
* read #41, dun bug me about it4

3.talk abt him/her.* let me talk about the future 1 k?! some1 kind n loving

44. hair style?
* somewhere in the middle, n black hair v much growing out now…. sianz

Feeling right now?
* so in need of a drink

46. weather?
* kinda cloudy n kinda clear

47. how do you treat your loved one?
* I hope to b nicer, less mean n most imptly less of a heart-breaker

49. how old is your bf?
* stop talking about BF!!

50.what u wanna tell your bf?
* I would definitely tell him “I luv him!”

my "fantastic" life

hmm.... i think its so easy to live in this surreal world that i think i was suppose to b in.. but i think eber since i broke up with the nicest guy in the world, everything shattered... nothing in the world is that fantastic anymore... i love being in a world of my own (to a certain extend) i enjoy having time to myself to relax n try to enjoy the moment as time flies by nowdays...

juz now went to wala wala @holland v with my colleague, they actually have 1 for 1... not bad a deal i would say... drank 1 of the germany beers, it was supppsed to b 1 of the fruity beer but somehow i dun think its fruity... but anyway it was a nice drink, taste a bit in between a tiger n a carlsberg... i seriously think that my drinking capacity has gone down alot... i arent able to drink like i used to drink..... my memory seems to have gone downhill ever since.... now, casey = lousy drinker, lousy driver n most imptly casey = lousy person... sianz..............

its so easy to lose yourself in this world, so easy to get lost n not know your direction whereby u shld b going... i do get influenced.. but i hope its gotta get better... i m probably a contradicting person, i wan both sides of the green pasture... human r greedy huh... i truly agree.... but anyway..... i dun think anything would b truly enough...

its really relaxing when u can sit down at some cosy corner, catch up on certain things, lose yourself alittle n not think about really serious stuff at all... its so easy to find enjoyment in 'relaxing' .......... so easy to get addicted.......

To b Lost again~

I seriously think that it's true, when u r down on your luck, everything in ya life can go down along with it, i used to think that it was rubbish, but i was wrong... N when your luv starts to fade, everything else turns mouldy too... it just happens... 1stly, my leather bag fr him started to grow mouldy, my fossil watch (fr him again) the stupid LCD screen simply disappeared... I have gotten so used to the blinking numbers n now, haiz.... den... the taps in my hse broke down, my hse lights start to flicker blah blah blah... so much for breaking down... mayb the next 1 is gotta b me... May this is my form of punishment for all the hurt I'e caused him... he doesnt blame me a single bit and I cant forgive myself for all these disappointment, sadness that i have created. Nv sould i be able to undo all these mistakes. Time dont wait for any1 much less for me.. He had tried v hard to relive this relationship and I was so cruel to let it b... I think its natural that when u r in a relationship with this significant other, u tend to expect alot fr him/her, I m one of the extremies, I demand alot... I pity my significant other for he has to live with all my bad meany temper, all the ridiculous demands, unreasonable actions etc... I detest myself for being so selfish not able to change for the better, i didnt give him the mutual respect that he deserved n i always believe that one day it would get back to me.. mayb eventually i would b doomed to b by myself forever.... but b4 that happens, let me b lost in this world.........

Read If U waN~

Have you ever..
1. Break school rules ?
__* all the time…

2. Scold teachers ?
__*of coz… who dun

3. Why?
__*bcoz I dun like what they do

4. Fight wit teachers?
__* nah… so violent

5. Dye hair go school ?
__* nv

6. Have u ever fight in school?
__* no….. super violent leh

7. Smoke in school ?
__* I dun touch cigarettes

8. Got any god sisters or god brothers in school?
__* is that still in??

9. Whats your hair colour now ?
__* its all mixed up, dun remind me about it…….

10. Love anyone now ?
__* a him lo

11. Hate anyone now ?
__* mayb~

12. Have a piercing ?
__* ears? I got 7 n counting

13. Have a tattoo ?
__* thinking abt it

14. How many tattoos u wanted to put ?
__* one only

15. If you are given the opportunity to put, will u put ?
__* let me consider, muz ask mummy if she likes it

16. Have u ever fight b4 ?
__* my bro lo, as for the rest they r all verbal only…

17. What do u feel like doing now ?
__* losing myself..

18. Why?
__* I hate my life~

19. When was the last time u cried ?
__* last night?

20. When was the last time u drink ?
__* 3 days ago~

21. When was the last time u smoke ?
__* haven I said.. I dun touch cigarettes

22. When was the last time u had a good laugh?
__* I try v hard to luff

23. Who do u miss now ?
__* him

24. What hp model are u using now?
__* Panasonic gd55, dun ask me y I haven change my hp

25. When was the last time u fight?
__* verbally u mean? Mayb last night? Otherwise nv

26. What are you doing now?
__* trying to lose myself

27. Where do u normally slack?
__* at work n in my room

28. Have u ever drink till u drunk and don't even know what you are doing?
__* nah… I m always concious

29. What did u do?
__* giggle

30. Have u ever play with medicine?
__* self-healing u mean? yah

31. Have u ever see any car accidents?
__* yes plenty

32. Have u ever beat people till they end up in hospital?
__* I aren’t violent

33. Have u ever spit on someone?
__* that’s so crude

34. Have u ever take weapon go out?
__* swiss army knife? yes

35. For what reason?
__* safety sake, its not safe anymore nowadays

36. What's the weapon?
__* haven I said…

37. Do u club often? Which club? __* i like to... thats when u dun use alot of brain cells n u lose yourself... the more recent 1 would b chinablack

38. When do u usually club?
__* as n when I feel like it

39. If you're going to die this moment , what do u wish to say ?
__* ask him if he’s going to remember me?? n i would tell him i love u

my life again~

its been some time since i talked about my life in here... about that ghostly event... gotta say that i m soooooooo fortunate that lady is a real person who rented a room from my neighbour... phew.... so glad she was for real.....

went to mezza9 on monday night... its quite a nice place... mayb i m 'sua gu' once again, i have nv been there b4... its a beautiful place, wonderful environment for food and some drinks... it was kinda crowded initially, but nvless the service was good... long time since i did not worry about when the waiter is going to refill my water glass.. appetitzers were alright, the best thing was supposed to b the dessert platter n boy! it was worth the wait... 7 desserts combined into 1 single tray... i would say the portion is good for 3 to 4... cant wait to go for the 2nd time.. (wonder when that is going to b.........) btw the dessert platter changes every 3 months...

meanwhile back at sch... nothing much, skipping alittle of the classes, i dun care... i hate classes now... get me away fr sch... n most imptly, i hate my life!!

New Wish List...

went thru my previous 'wish- list', i have decided to renew it to suit yr 2005...

1. new clothes for CNY!! mayb some levi's or guess jeans that i have been aiming real long...
2. colour my hair n see esther (again)
3. go for the massage that i was supposed to go long long time ago..
4. invent some super medication for my 'bad' back
5. go swimming~
6. get a new watch, mayb the 1 fr seiko or fossil
7. fix my leather handbag
8. try to convince karen to give me better clinic marks (if u get what i mean)
9. revamp my bedroom
10. finally... lose another 3kg

Above are the 10 wishes that i hope to achieve this yr...
p/s they would change as and when the weather changes...

juz adding on

1.are u serious when it comes to relationships?
yah… if u believe

2. are you afraid of commitments?
I get stressed out when my partner expects too much.. in a way mayb the ans is yes…

3. are u a risk taker?
sorta…

4. wat can u say abt. long distance relationships?
no… I would go with him if necessary, but dun put us more den 10km apart

5. can u luv a person hu doesnt love u?
I dunnoe, mayb yes n yet mayb no~ it depends I guess, sometimes it juz hurts so much..

6. do actions speak louder than words?
yah

7. hav u felt/found true love?
I dunno, what defines true love anyway?

8. how can u say that a person luvs you?
takes care of u, makes sure u take ya meals on time, double-checks that u have quality sleep, makes it a point to catch up with u after a long day, showers attention when u need it, but when 2 ppl r in luv, there’s nothing really sensible anymore, therefore u cant really tell

9. willing to give everything?
in a relationship? Nothing is too definite in this times

10. do u demand ur luv1 to change into someone that pleases u?
I wun wan that, coz I m a mull n I hope he would accept me the way I m n vice versa, thus…

11. would u let go of some1 u love?
yah if I now its not gotta work out

12. are u a one woman man & vice versa type of person?
huh? U mean being faithful… duh… of coz...

13. how do u express ur luv to sm1?
that depends if he feels anything for me or not, otherwise I would rather shut up~

14. wat is the major reason of a break up?
when there’s no future for us together

15. most important ingredient in a relationship?
can I have 2? that would b trust n luv

16. ever regret loving someone?
yah coz I think he aren’t worth it but I think at that point I was too young to realize that he wasn’t a nice guy

17. one thing u hate abt love?
u dunno if he’s the 1

18. one thing u like about love?
u feel gd about everything that he posses whether its gd or bad n everyday is filled with sweet endless nothings…

19. worst thing u did to a love one?
shout at him like no1’s biz n didn’t appreciate all the wonderful stuff that he did for me… all the wei qu that he had to suffer all the time… have to lose his big male ego…

20. are you in love?
in the past or right now?

21. with whom? its gotta b that some1 special?! Duh….

22. do u have a bf/gf?
I have both…

23. why?
Duh…….. isn’t that what every1 have… dumbo qn

24. are you a hopeless romantic?
kinda, that's y i m using purple font..

25. do you get tired of loving ?
if I know its not gotta work out… yes… otherwise, I dun think so, coz luv is endless

26. who has changed your view about loving?
plenty

27. message to your loved one?
I luv u!

ghostly event...

went to the westin 70th floor on mon... had some drinks over there... very nice scenery there, blame me for being 'sua ku' but haven been up there b4... i can only say wow... next time when i go i must bring a cam to take some pix down... (now i really sound like some frog who is staying in the well) not only the scenery was marvellous, the drinks were not bad too...

took a cab n managed to get home at around 12plus... was stepping into the lift n this lady who was dressed in white just in front of me... she had black covered shoes n short bob hairstyle... didnt make a noise n somehow pressed my button to my level... nv seen this woman b4.... she pale n ghost-like.. upon instinct, i took out my hse keys n tried to 'defend' myself with that in the event of anything... once the door opened, i rushed out running down the steps in my heels... i heard her footsteps right behind me....... omg... its the freaking morning hour... wasnt a little tipsy n thought my eyes were playing tricks on me... at my door, desperately trying to stick my keys into the freaking lock n let myself into the hse, but my hands were shaking so badly... she was right behind me.... i turned my back she smiled at me... omg help, there was no other way to run... finally the door opened n what a relief i got when i saw my dad in the living room, my breathing was so shallow that i could feel i was almost fainting..

Another 1~

More musical.. dunno if every1 gets this but anyway.....


Cb major - life is full of complecations,
commitments and organisation. You love to make
sure everything is just perfect, but sometimes
this can cause you to fall over your own feet.
A slightly unsociable key: why Cb major when
you could be the identical Bmajor? It has less
accidentals.


what key signature are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

TrY iT!

Got this wonderful quiz fr ms lala... rather interesting to me... kinda close to what i think its kinda true... i think every1 shld try it...

I am truly passionate.

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

WhAt's LiFe AlL AbOuT?

so weird..... dunno who the heck can actually have access to my blog n still can put in entry like no1's biz.... dun let me catch that person... its not even my life... what the heck...

today like usual went to work den bo liaoz... kana scrutinised saying my face looked green somehow... dunno lar what the heck again... dunno y everything seems so weird recently... i start eating alot, sleep alot but dun seem to get quality sleep, cant concentrate on my work also... sianz.... everything is not going like normal... i get nightmares blah, blah blah... in other words, i m sick of it...