Sometimes when I leave singapore for too long.. and esp when i lock myself in e rm for too long.. Many thoughts run thru my mind..

Somehow I think they r not exactly pleasant.. Perhaps in a way, its what my subconscious is thinking abt.. in reality, i hate to face up to these problems tt i have.. its easier to run away fr them.. though it doesnt solve e problems, it temporarily soothes my mind..

honestly, i hate it when i choose to be a coward and duck all e problems..
i feel like a small child, covering her ears so she wouldn't hear tt she doesnt wanna hear...
covering her small eyes pretending not to see..
in a way, it's tearing her up inside.. but she cannot show it.. she needs to be strong..
perhaps tt's y sometimes its easier to be e 'bad' person. n mayb they will give up on her.. perhaps its a easier way to get out of e situation..

e dreams i have feel like what i see in reality.. its comes back n haunts me when i let my guards down.. each time i shut my eyes tighter n pray tt e next dream will b a beautiful dream.. something sweet tt can take me away fr reality (even if its just for a few hours)

nobody knows e hurt tt she feels inside. nobody understands..

It's easy to judge someone..

but it's not easy to understand someone..